6-8-11 Though I am embarrassed at my lifestyle these days, this is my general make-up
feverish.
Cognitive memory issues. (I often lose track of thought while speaking and go blank. My brain does not function like it used to. I was a top student scoring 2100 on my SATs)
Sleep disturbances. (Apnea-new, Narcolepsy-new, Paralysis-lifelong)
Extreme fatigue
All over body pain. (flu like feelings)
Extreme light sensitivity.
Depression (obviously)
Feelings of uselessness, from lack of doing much.
Sedentary, from slowly adding to an already overweight issue.
Easily irritated by noise, specially in groups.
My predominant mental sensation when I'm at my worst is: frustration, anger (which I attribute to feeling like I'm not in control of the illness, I think), and fear of what will pop up next and how long will I be down.
I'm not sure I understand the physical sensation but I will try to give it anyway. Physically, on a daily basis, is no energy or motivation (scale of 1-10) about 8 1/2. If I have energy, it is the pain that keeps me otherwise down.
At my worst, it's the feeling of flu, pain all over my body, with my legs being the worst.
I hope this has not confused my case, if you have other questions feel free to ask them I am not afraid to tell you whatever you need to know if it will help in the long run.
Thanks again
9-08-11 I'm tired
finishing my medication tommorow evening, so I'll see from there
I do feel stronger though, slowly. I guess it just takes time to get back to full strength.
It's frustrating but I've just had no energy, mentally as well as physically
10-08-11 i'm so tired
i'm hoping to be all better tommorow...the meds finished today
i got my last test results when i was out, i was positive for something, some kind of infection
so i will call the doctor, but i want to finish the treatment first.
but really, she gave me an appointment, right before i was going to leave
it's not good enough if i am not well
anyways, if this medecine works i'll be ok
let's wait a bit
i need to be healthy NOW
i really need this month to pack up and put my affairs in order and work, and september to set up and get what i need for the school year
i can even rest more once i've moved and set up
it's just right now i need some energy
Advice for being a designer:
13-8-11 Any words of advice or wisdom for someone trying to break into the industry?
Three words: Never give up! And always be passionate about it. The day you start doing it for money, chances are things will go wrong! And get used to hearing without emotions: ‘we don’t have the budget for new lines now’ because at the end, all the ones who say ‘no’ are always the ones who beg later for your product. Just keep being good at what you do! These mottos have built Bogosse into the strong brand it is today.
Life goal for third culture kids:
14-8-11 I want to start a bourse fund for third culture kids of low income parents. They have no rights, as they didn't grow up in their home country, and life is much more difficult for them. I know, I was one. They need all the help they can get.
Choices made for money:
15-8-11 One's life shouldn't be run by money. Choices that are made for the cost of things, are usually poor ones. Decide what you need, and then see how to get the money to afford it.
15-08-11 "If life gives you lemons make lemonade. Then go out and find someone whose life is given vodka and have a party. "
Whimsical:
16-8-11 i wish i could download motivation as easily as i can photos of those who have it.
19-08-11 Life is not the way it's supposed to be! Everything is wrong and I don't know how to make it right. There are so many things I want to do and be, but I am terrified of making a wrong decision. I want to be advised.
I feel like I've done everything wrong. It's not all my fault. But I have to live with it.
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